TTO Xtreme Loifer by Binyomin Miller
(if you are unfamiliar with the song, please skip down to the bottom)


Hello, I'm in a seminary

L'maaseh let's just say that I'm very helig

But asides from my neshama, nefesh, and ruach

I always make time on my daily luach

Not chas vshalom to battel or shluf

Cuz lmaaisa you gotta take care of your guf

I'm saying don't overdo it, like a big bochur

But halacha lmaaseh we gotta get tougher

So button your collars

And put on your loafers

Come let me show you how to be an Xtreme Loifer!!

My shoes are dark colored

And my socks are kneesocks

I go to a seminary that's out of the box

I stretch and I jog and of course I have curls

I'm not like your average seminary girl

I have my own mahalech in the Ramban's diet

It's mostly peanut butter and you gotta try it

I sprint to the Grant's for havdala

I was konein my whole dorm with a kinyan hagbalah

I go to the gym, in the bomb shelter

Even if it gets a little bit helter skelter

I'm the fastest girl in the seminary

I run to lunch because they serve dairy

To teach people how to exercise, I run to Vaad

I grow in my Yiddishkeit and get closer to G-d

So why are you waiting? Give even a dime!

It's a huge mitzvah to give to Chai Lifeline!!

CHORUS
I'm gonna win this race

Al kol panim

Bkitzur I'm just really fast

But chas vshalom

Don't be choishech bksheirim

I only go on runs between class

I'm gonna win this race

Al kol panim

If you don't believe me you're a koifer

I have haskama

From Rabbi Kass

I'm ready to be an extreme loifer



If you laughed at this, I'm glad! But know there are many kids out there dealing with illness who need a laugh. Maybe they're sick, rachmana litzlan, or their parent, or sibling. But they need a laugh! They should get to be happy. They should get to be kids again! Please donate to Chai Lifeline- even a dime- so we can make that a reality. Tizku lmitzvos!

Love,
Batya









And thanks to Devorah Greenberg for helping me write this!